Life is an amazing journey, when you’re young you work to build your future and acquire things that resonate with you as a sign of your success. For some it’s a house or a big house, a car, jewelry, travel, art, or a variety of other things.
As one’s life journey progresses through one’s 40s and into one’s 50s, often times the reverse happens and many find themselves working to simplify their life. For Joe and me this has definitely been the trend: working to shed ourselves of our belongings in preparation for the next stage of our lives. A series of events in our personal lives made us realize that all of our “stuff”, everything we had amassed, had become in many ways far less important. Nice to have, but not needed or essential.
But, this my friend, is where the real work begins. This is where the trickery of one’s mind comes into real focus and where decisions about what to keep, and more importantly, why you feel you “need” to keep something comes into play. It is hard work and takes a lot of focus and is sometimes emotional. We found ourselves looking at things that many of us don’t give a day to day thought to, like pots and pans: how many sets does one really need?? Even further than that, the question of which ones out of the 20 ( or 35 actually! ) do you really use on a regular basis. Now I know why I had them all ….. I used to cook much more elaborate meals, but that has also changed as I have gotten older. Other things like clothes or shoes, Shoes, SHOES… but that is a topic for another blog and one that has not been solved…( many of my friends think I have a problem in this department… HA! )
Joe and I have gone through a series of changes or re-sets starting 10 years ago in 2008 when we sold our large farm house in Wakefield and moved into a condo in Boston. This move cut our living quarters in half and we found ourselves trying to wedge ourselves into 1,600 SF. This was not that difficult, as some of the furniture was sold with the house and other pieces went to friends and family, but what we really didn’t do, is to go through our “things”, we found a spot for it all. We then lived there for 8 years and never looked at those things or for most of those things, but we moved it and still had it. A successful downsize on some levels, but not on all.
The farm house in Wakefield
The condo in the city
Our second move, in 2016, was a quick one as we put our condo on the market and it sold in one day. With very little time to move we ended up renting an apartment that was about the same size as our condo… this was a sideways move, no downsizing just a shift of location, but an important step towards our next two moves. Yes, I said the next. Two. Moves.
125 Pembroke Street – where we landed after the sale of our condo and after we started to reduce our belongings
During the year that we were in the first apartment, Joe and I made a conscious effort to get rid of many of our things. We found a loving home for our baby grand piano, our dining room that sat 14 people, more pots, more pans, more glassware, more dishes, art, etc. etc. We also reduced the size of an off-site storage unit by half. Proud of our accomplishment, it was time to move again.
Our next apartment was in a new building with amenities and indoor parking. It was only 740 square feet. We were very proud of all of our hard work and felt lighter, literally, but there was still much more to come. We were there for a year and then decided to make one more move. This is where the work got very hard on a mental and emotional level.
We decided to move into a 464 square foot studio ( that is 2,700 square feet less than where we were 10 years earlier). We were able to shift some furniture to our condo at Cape Cod where we also shifted the remaining china and crystal. During all of our moves the Cape had, in fact, become the place where we were entertaining friends and family more, the place where these things would be used and happily are used. The older furniture that was in the condo was donated to a local thrift shop.
Our “shoe box in the sky” as I like to refer to it..
As our most “compact” arrangement to date this move was most difficult in determining what were the essential pieces that we needed to live in the studio. It was a critical look and deep dive into why we still had so much stuff and amazingly we did. There is something to this “holding on to things”, I still do not understand why you can look at something, know in your brain that you will never use it, but still keep it… it is fascinating to me, a puzzle that I have yet to solve.
Instead of selling our things, we once again decided to donate most of our clothing (not the shoes), remaining furniture, vases and items that we, for some reason, felt we still needed through our last two moves.
Happy to say, after 5 months of living in a studio together, we are lighter ( I had to go on a diet to fit in the studio…) but seriously, we have found that we didn’t “need” all of it nor do we miss any of it. It’s amazing how, with much less space and things, life is better, easier and more focused on what is most important. In my case that is my husband and my family.
My suggestion is not to wait to “downsize”, whether you are moving or not. Don’t leave it for your heirs to figure out what to do with all of it ( that’s not fair to them and they will just throw it away ). It is cathartic, emotional, enlightening and a great trip down memory lane. But remember, if you haven’t used it or seen it in a few years you do not need it… don’t put it back in the box!!
Places to donate your things!!!
- In Boston – http://www.shopboomerangs.org
- On the Cape – United Methodist Church Thrift Shop http://www.umc.org/find-a-church/church/10974
